Dominique Maria: Have you ever made it to the place you prayed for and then felt the sudden urge to retreat? You thought that once you arrived, everything would feel lighter, that the hard part was behind you, and that peace would wrap itself around you like a blanket, but instead it brought exposure. It brought a kind of clarity you weren't ready for.
You didn't expect the quiet to feel so loud. You didn't expect the light to feel so unforgiving. And for a moment you wondered if maybe the dark was easier. So what do you do when the life you asked for finally arrives and it's not what you thought it was going to be? All of that and more on today's episode of the written Willow.
Welcome back everyone. I'm Dominique Maria, and today we're sitting in something that doesn't get talked about enough. The discomfort that comes with actually growing. We celebrate breakthroughs like they're the end of pain. We talk about healing like it's soft and glowing and gentle, but we forget growth is a stretch and stretching hurts.
Think about your body at the gym. When you're working new muscles, you get sore. You might even feel like something's wrong, but over time that soreness becomes strength. That tension becomes ease. And the same thing happens emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. When you enter new territory, whether it's healing, visibility, purpose or truth, your body doesn't always recognize it yet, so it resists, it shakes, and sometimes it wants to go back.
And so I wrote a poem that was about this exact moment when I got what I said I wanted, but standing in the light felt overwhelming. It's not what I was expecting. And so I pulled back. But once I did, I realized something had already shifted inside of me. There was no going back to who I was before. This poem is titled Onward.
I Prayed. The light would shine upon me and fade the darkness that I knew. But when it finally showed its mercy, I felt exposed and so withdrew. But once back in the shadows, the mold I once fit, I outgrew and though its race felt strange. It promised to shape me into something new. When you realize the darkness no longer fits, but the light still doesn't feel like home.
It's that in-between space where the familiar feels too small and the future feels too big, and you don't quite feel like you fit anywhere because you don't. I have the perfect example of this. I'm a mother, as some of you know, and my toddler. She's in that stage where her clothes never quite fit. She's not fully a size three anymore, but a size four is still a little too big.
So what do you do? A three is too tight. A four swallows a hole. She's in the middle, and that's exactly what this kind of growth feels like. You're in between identities. The old one can't hold you anymore, but the new one hasn't fully settled on your shoulders yet. I'm not just writing about that space.
I'm in it right now. This podcast is vulnerable. I mean, every week I put my voice out here and I see the views. They're not massive. There's no viral wave carrying this. But even in this small trickle of listeners, I am so grateful. You guys have no idea how motivating you are to me. Your messages, your comments, even if you're someone silently listening from the sidelines, I see you and I appreciate you more than I can say.
Being a part of the written willow in any way means so much, and that means everything to me. So here at Theri Willow, we love reflection. We love expansion. We love anything that gets us to grow, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel at first. So I wanna leave you with a few journal prompts to sit with.
And if any of these speak to you or if this episode moves something in you, please feel free to reach out. Message me, leave a comment, share your thoughts, whether it's something that came up for you through a journal prompt or just something that landed in your heart. I'd really love to hear from you.
That's what this budding community is about, and I'm so thankful to be growing it with you. So I'd like to leave you with these reflections for you to sit and think about or write in your journal, or simply answer in your head as I read them aloud. Where in your life are you currently stretching? Is there a part of your growth that feels uncomfortable?
Not because it's wrong, but because it's new? Have you been tempted to retreat, not because you failed, but because you're standing in unfamiliar territory? And what would it look like to stay? I'll see you all on next week's episode of The Written Willow. Thank you so much for being here, for listening, and for allowing me to walk with you even briefly through this journey of becoming.
If this episode spoke to you, please consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who might need it. It helps more than you know, and if you feel called to support the show, there's a link in the description where you can do just that. Until next time, may the wisdom of the Willow be with you.
